I do need to get back into it. definately. bring with me the good weather and then wotch

This is what a Good night is about

To be honest, even though going out on the lash has its obvious advantages, and it's a good laugh goin out with a big group and havin plenty of crack (as in the jokes kind, although the vulgar defenition im not averse to), but it's the jam sessions with a couple mates over a few 6 for 5's that I really apreciate...

Sinister

Oil is a horrible sinister thing, for the fact that wars are started to gain control of it, becuase oil is money and power, and greed rules this world. So oil signifies greed, sinister in itself, and one of the seven deadly sins (SINister...?). You don't suppose that's where the word came from, something sinful? i dno.... its another idea to look into tho isn't it....

Sinister

What is a sinister thing? something we despise? something dangerous, that lurks in the dark? Rapists, tortureres, murderers, peodaphiles... they all seem pretty sinister. Tony Blair and George Bush are both pretty sinister. Anyone affiliated with the BNP... Something that slowly leeches into you, killing you from the inside, like a cancer, or cancer for that matter. That's a sinister thing. what sometimes seems to be the case is the sight of that thing or the image it portrays can be both sinister and beautiful at the same time. I mean this in the case of something like the atom bomb; It's one of the most sinister things in history, but at the same time the sight of that mushroom cloud, whilst knowing the destruction its causing, it looks so amazing and beautiful. On a smaller scale, smoking slowly kills those who inhale, but the way the smoke licks out of the cigarette and curls itself in the still air is so beautiful and majestic. Life is full of these juxtapositions...

passage from a book titled: 'the others'. i connected so much to this book

I became attached to train travel – to seeing the grimy backs of buildings along train lines, the fenced industry and hung laundry. I slept in train seats. I opted for the rear car, so that in long bends, in open country, I could look ahead and watch the engine pass particulars of the landscape. And in the interim between the engines passing of, say, a half fallen brick pumping station and my own passing of it, happiness inhabited my journey. It was like the feeling I had on station platforms sometimes just after sunrise, when no one else was around and no train was expected for an hour or more, and an express had just gone through at high speed a minute or so before, the passengers in it flashing past like kings, queens and jacks in a thumbed deck of cards, ephemeral as thoughts. I put down my reading when that happened and enjoyed the absence of the train’s noise, the silence of a station in the countryside. To be awake in the cool of morning on a bench near train tracks, hungry, with a little breeze blowing, and whatever book u were reading open in your lap, was a little like listening for something you thought you might have heard a moment before. I suppose you could say I felt the sweetness, then, of being alive and in good health. At the same time, my romantic spells were curtailed by the sight of garbage near the rails, or by a wandering dog raising a leg at the corner of a building. I just didn’t have the psychic wherewithal to incorporate these images into my affection for living; I let them dispirit me, as the heat of the day and the crowds on the trains dispirited me, most days, during the afternoon.

i dont have any of this XD

So playing football for National (we play in an inter style kit :D) I got clattered by someone from the other team, trying to show that hes older and tougher than my 19 year old, 6 foot 90kg frame. well turns out he was proved right, as he connected with my left flank. People thought i was doin a drogba, so i tried to carry on playing for the last 15 minutes. then i hobbled home, licked my wounds and woke up on monday with very red pee........ after a trip to the doctors and then a night in the hospital i got my scans, and that evening the prognosis was given. 'just minor bruising to your left kidney mr blair, nothing to worry about... but it is the only kidney you have.'

so now i need to keep extra care of that one, coz another injury like the one i got and that could be it for my little guy, and then hello to a dialysis machine. so no football for.... ever?

Graphic Score

So our latest project culminated with a 'musical' performance. The next stage is to produce a graphical score for the music piece, and publish a little book documenting the days spent making the instruments and performing. This is one of the scores I've designed. Whether or not it becomes the final remains to be seen but right now I feel it's a bit straight forward and based to heavily on a system that is widely used. It isn't as personal to me, which I think is the important thing. But at least I've made a start, which always seems to be the hardest thing.....

so much deja vu my head hurts

firstly, we didnt get outclassed. and we werent sloppy. we didnt finish chances and we committed too many players forward. but how much deja vu can a person experience before you actually believe you've been into this future and lived this experience already? then i realised, it was almost identical to the champs semi we had to endure last season. bright start, quick pace, optimistic, good atmosphere. but thos early missed chances, they didnt leave me feeling good, i felt something was off key, or one of them would have gone in. oh well, another day, another kick in the balls. on to chelski and hopefully we can seduce them with our boyish charm and then sneak a few in the net. or we can let drogba give us more nightmares...... be positive rory. ok ill try.

Seeing Red isn't just for bulls

Yep, im just like Dennis. Sorry, i mean SIR Dennis. Got send off in my match today..... for reacting to a kick i recieved from a bearded cunt who looked homeless. ball was out of play, i was walking away from him, i hear profanities and feel a tickle on my leg. I found that disrespectful tbh, but i stopped myself from hitting him when my arm was half way there and pushed him out of my face instead. Ref was a cuntingfuckwit tho (ask Dott Scoody) and sent us both off.

anyway im already bored of this post and it isnt interesting. i might employ willnoyes to spruce it up with his musings, as he is far more eloquent than me. but yea. me. Sir Dennis. not that different. Ice cool. But imperfect. Coz who wants perfection? thats boring.....

my fellow bloggers

So since I started this thingy here where I glorify diary entries into something more masculine and mature, rather than a 12 year old girl writing about her feelings and how much tommy hurt her feelings by throwing sand in her hair rather than giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and nothing else becuase she hasnt hit puberty and doesnt really know the ins and outs of a sexual relationship (only because she isnt mexican).

Erm, i forget what i was getting at. anyhoo theres other bloggers i kno who are doing this thing for whatever reason who i want to mention and link becuase hey, this is all for other peoples cultural learning or woteva.... so yea ima put down a few blogs to check out.

firstly, kanye wests blog is pretty good, hes actually up at par when it comes to throwing down some good designers and artists work every now and then...

then theres my man Ruan, with his blog Rudihoo and his thoughts of a hero... he dont update much but hey, hes a guy with big testicles and lives in croyden so obviously has a lot to deal with...

then theres My kiwi rudegirl Saxon, and her wish for us all to Follow the Fairies becuase theyre happiness fairies... yea they will cheer you up dont worry.

theres also an anonymous breh who posts some absolutely wonderful top draw musings, ranging from the wonders of pr0n, through ketchup stashing and right through to mentioning that the welsh are much more communicative than us paranoid LDN folk. this is all stuff that awisemanoncesaidtome, and im going to believe it becuase it started with the great big gov'nor or cali, Arnie schwarzzenheimermannegga... so safe for the william noyes x.

Also theres my new big man with a hole in his ear far too big for us western folk christian, whos been in this game a lot longer than the rest of us. Bhudda Blesses us most days thanks to his posting, and boy o boy is his art skills up there with the best.

also theres Chocolate Bear, AKA Merks (MKz coz he can shorten it now (i wanna do a TN? then ppl cud pronounce it)) Kalenn Marshall, whos in big persons uni rather than a foundation... Kalenns blog is more sophisticated seein as he uses wordpress rather than blogspot. [news just in, i must make good advertisement for the blogspot massive coz thas what im hosted on, so yea theyre the best and all that....) Kalenns is graphics massive, and gaming masssive, and computer epic. Xxx



so thas who im reppin get meh.