MY FACE YOU TWIT.

Mr. George Roscoe Nichols Gowlands Facebook Statuses:

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.

knows karate, kung fu and 43 other dangerous words

okay who's the wise guy putting all the W's in the M 'n' M's bag?

George Gowland is wondering if money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

George Gowland says facebook is the only place where you can talk to a wall without looking strange

you do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I decided to cancel my Twitter account.I don't want to sound paranoid, but I'm pretty sure people are following me.

George Gowland wants to do something different today so is thinking about sitting on the TV to watch the sofa

George Gowland learned that Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

George Gowland says we could merge My Space, Facebook, You Tube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

George Gowland doesnt need to exercise. He gets enough from pushing hus luck, jumping to conclusions and pulling your chain

George Gowland wonders why "all together" is written separate, and "separate" is written all together.

George Gowland just made you waste 6 seconds of your life, by reading this status.

George Gowland is wishing that he could throw magic dust on his problems and make them disappear! Kind of like a wizard...or a crack addict!

George Gowland is CDO, its like OCD but alphabetized like it should be.

George Gowland is having trouble watering his plastic plants.

George Gowland knows that 78% of statistics are made up

there are 3 kinds of people on facebook, Those who can count and those who can't.

George Gowland asks if you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

After Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), even the week says 'WTF'!!!

duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it!

a dawrf get pic-pocketed the other day... How could someone stoop so low.

George Gowland just pased his keyboard MOT with flying colours 1234567890-=qwertyuiop[]asdfghjkl;'zxcvbnm,.\/!?%^_*-+7894561230.

if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving probably isn't for you...

"hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia - the fear of long words" Now thats just cruel.

There are 3 ninjas in this status. Try to find them.

George Gowland ™ is a registered trademark. All unauthorised reproduction and distribution will lead to prosecution.

people who tweet need to get a bird

never moon a werewolf.

being vague is almost as fun as doing this other thing.

iThinks iThere iMight iBe iA iProblem iWith iThe iNew iPhone iSoftware iUpdate

George Gowland put's the "poo" in pool

_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ hmmmmm Holiday

George Gowland asks what no alcohol beer is for... people who don't want to get drunk but still like to urinate?

George Gowland dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

beep boop "status change" acievement unlocked

if two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?

George Gowland is bottling his anger. He heard he could sell it on ebay

George Gowland knows that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy

canyouimagineyourlifewithoutaspacebar

George Gowland exagerates 140% of the time

George Gowland says sex is like poker, if you dont have a partner, you better have a good hand.

George Gowland is wondering if a fly without wings is called a walk.

friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

George Gowland has had amnesia for as long as he can remember

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs flew. Well behold just months into his presidency...Swine Flu!

George Gowland would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

George Gowland is reminding everyone that a presentation on time travel will be held two weeks ago...

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

George Gowland took an IQ test and luckily the results were negative.

George Gowland can't find Sesame Street on Google Earth.

George Gowland stll can't fgure out whch key s mssng n hs keyboard

George Gowland is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

George Gowland found the secret to humans flying is to throw yourself at the ground... and miss

George Gowland is filmed before a live studio audience.

George Gowland is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

George Gowland Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

George Gowland Bullshit. No thats not Bullshit its true. Oh ok then...(after taking an 'are you schizophrenic' facebook test)

My Batteries are Included

and so concludes the musings of Mr. George Roscoe Nichols Gowland. Hope you all enjoyed that.